


when you were young

by sweaterwearinlesbian



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Kinda, M/M, Songfic, Yotsuba Arc, they gay lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22854046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterwearinlesbian/pseuds/sweaterwearinlesbian
Summary: Light is gorgeous and cruel, his face that of a saint and his soul that of a sinner. His words bite at L’s skin and crawl underneath it, staying there and laying eggs filled with malice. L lets him talk as often as he wants, lets him spin webs of lies just to beat them down with a broom L made himself. Their dance is intricate and deadly, with one wrong step resulting in demise. L has never felt this alive.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Kudos: 23





	when you were young

When L was a child, after Watari formally adopted him, he imagined that he was deserving of a Prince Charming. Of course, such a notion was ridiculous and L knew as much, but he was a child and he hoped for it. Now, he had Light. He wasn’t quite Prince Charming. He was cruel and rude and he hated L more than he loved L, but goddamn if he wasn’t perfect. 

Light is gorgeous and cruel, his face that of a saint and his soul that of a sinner. His words bite at L’s skin and crawl underneath it, staying there and laying eggs filled with malice. L lets him talk as often as he wants, lets him spin webs of lies just to beat them down with a broom L made himself. Their dance is intricate and deadly, with one wrong step resulting in demise. L has never felt this alive. 

When their lips meet for the first time, it does not feel like it. They are getting ready for bed (well, Light is, and L is getting ready to turn the brightness down on his computer), and Light rolls over before he turns out the light. “Goodnight L” he says, and plants one on L before turning out the light. It takes both of them ten minutes to realize why this is out of the ordinary. 

They have not kissed in this lifetime before but L knows that in another they have. He knows because the feeling of Light’s lips on his is as familiar as the taste of strawberry cake, as familiar as summertime at Wammy’s. He wonders in what sort of world he is allowed to kiss Light, and then supposes that this one must be that sort of world. After all, how could this be wrong, in any way other than in reality. L kissing Light must be the universal truth. Light does not seem to think so. “This didn’t happen. When I wake up tomorrow, we will not speak of it again. Goodnight.” The click of the lamp is final and L finds himself surrounded by the glow of his laptop, bright and lonely. He would rather be surrounded by Light but his side of the bed is devoid of any warmth. L doesn’t mind. He doesn’t. If Light happens to roll over and touch his hand to L’s that’s just an accident, and L doesn’t want to wake him up so he doesn’t move. That’s all, nothing more. 

He craves the feeling of Light all day. His fingers twitch whenever they’re closer than usual and his lips have been seared with the press of Light’s against them. Matsuda has been looking at L rather oddly, like he knows something he shouldn’t. L does not like how that sits in his stomach but cannot confront Matsuda. He will come to L when he is ready. 

As Light showers and L sits outside the curtain, he can’t help but wonder if this is Light’s way of repressing himself. If ignoring and pushing it deep, deep down is how Light deals with things. L thinks of Light’s perfect nature and decides that it is. It raises his Kira factor (L will think of some bullshit percent increase later when Light sneezes or something), but it also helps L understand Light as a person more. L finds the notion of being the only one to make Light explode very interesting. He puts it in a mental drawer of things to think about later as he hands Light his towel. He does not look at Light. He does not think he can right now. 

When the time comes for sleep, L finds himself on edge. When Light rolls over to him, L braces himself to confess. Light beats him to it. “I want to kiss you again. I know I said we couldn’t speak of it but… I’ve changed my mind. I haven’t wanted something this bad in a while L ... indulge me?” L laughs at him softly, the noise surprising even him. 

“Of course. I’ve been distracted all day because of it.” Their second kiss is just as magical but more expected. Light’s hand rests on L’s thigh and L’s comes up to cup Light’s face. His skin is just as smooth as expected (when did L think of that?) and L sees Light’s eyes flutter shut (he’s never realized how accurate a descriptor flutter was for the experience). It’s soft and precious and L wants to keep this moment forever. When they pull apart, Light smiles up at L and L feels his heart beat faster. 

“You’re allowed to kiss me whenever it’s just us okay? Goodnight L.” L doesn’t say goodnight to him until after Light falls asleep. He feels like it’s more personal than he knows. 

Light kisses him good morning and L touches his lips with his fingers as if the memory of the kiss is a butterfly that will fly away at the slightest touch. Their day is almost the same as it had been before, but not quite. There are little differences that make everything brighter. The tiny smile Light gives him when L insists on putting too many sugar cubes in his coffee. The way that Light laughs freer, with little crinkles around his eyes and a halo of sunshine around his head. 

His smile is what L is thinking of as he lies on the ground talking to Light through the bathroom door. “Have you ever thought you were in love?” 

L is taken aback. He never thought that anyone would ask that, let alone Light Yagami of all people. He’s always respectful, always a gentleman. His smile is always forced (except when it’s not) and his laugh is false. He’s the ideal person to most, but L can’t quite wrap his head around him. Why did he ask this question? 

“I don’t believe I have Light. Why, have you been in love? Seems a little un-Kira-like of you.” Light huffed, L could hear that. 

“Well that’s because I’m not Kira, Ryuzaki, you’d do well to get that in your thick skull. And… so what if I have? It isn’t concerning you now is it?” L laughs hallowly. 

“Of course it concerns me. May I remind you that we are involved now? We’re connected now. And I don’t need details, I just want a yes or no answer. Unless of course, Light feels threatened by that, in which case your silence will speak volumes.” L imagined Light gritting his teeth. 

“Fine, you win this one Ryuzaki. I have, in fact been in love before. Or at least I think I have. When I first found out I was… different from most of my peers.” He shied away from any sort of descriptors that would indicate he was attracted to men. Interesting. “There was a… person who I was attracted to. That person didn’t feel the same. I was actually upset by that, and thought, how dare this person make me feel this way? And then, you know it just kinda made me realize. I don’t like women, but it’s not like I can just say that to my family. I mean, the fallout from Misa alone would be horrible, and my parents are so traditional… but yes, I have been in love before. To answer your question.” Light coughed and his cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink, spreading to the tips of his ears. L wanted to kiss them. 

“I’m… sorry that you had to experience that.” He said, his voice lower than he meant it to be. “I understand what you mean, when you said you were angry at liking someone who could never like you back. It’s a common thought for me. After all, who could love a horrible, ugly beast?” L chuckled but he knew Light knew it wasn’t funny. They were silent after that. As they crawled into bed, L couldn’t help but wonder if he was falling in love. Maybe he did, in fact, deserve a Prince Charming, malicious and beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr - sweaterwearinlesbian & lightsturtleneck  
> ko-fi - @sweaterwearinlesbian   
> Sorry to have to put that there, but I'm moving in with my gf in like a year so we're gonna need a little bit of help. I'm just covering all my bases.   
> I hope you enjoyed the fic!!


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